The comedian’s genius hack to stop toddler tantrums in their tracks

Parents of toddlers know that dealing with fifth-grader tantrums is one of the hardest parts of parenting: especially if you’re in public.

As a mother and comedian on TikTok accidentally discovered a rage attack, an expert revealed why it actually worked.

In a link with content creator Emily Vondy, parenting expert and neuroscientist Dr. Chelsey Hauge-Zavaleta explained why one particular comic gesture Emily made when trying to deal with her three-year-old’s meltdown helped.

Mom Emily begins by explaining that her toddler was screaming after she zipped up her pajamas instead of letting him do it.

She says she was losing her SHIT so Emily made a face. An exaggerated, comical expression that seemed to soften the meltdown almost immediately.

“It doesn’t layer the language”

Her Stitch with Original TikTok by Emily, Dr. Hauge-Zavaleta explains why the facial worked.

You know what that does to a child in a crisis? It doesn’t gloss over their experience and you can feel like, Ah, she gets it. HOW [he toddler thinks]oh my god my emotions are mirroring my parent and sometimes that’s all we need to move on.

This expression of emotion without any words is a very successful way to defuse a meltdown before it goes nuclear.

Dr. Hauge-Zavaleta adds in response to Emily’s surprise at how well this funny face worked: You don’t scream and you just make a face that says, oh my god, this is so hard. [meaning] Your baby may go through a meltdown.

You have given her an opportunity to reflect on herself and then return to a relationship with you.

Nice job mom, that was great.

“I really wanted to scream!”

In the original TikTok as used by Dr. Hauge-Zavaleta, Emily says she was working hard not to yell and be a reactive mom when her toddler gets upset.

I really wanted to scream. I really wanted to lose my s**t. [but instead] I gave him one of these [comical looks]. And then the craziest thing happened, it stopped completely.

She changes the subject as if she wasn’t in the middle of a fifth-grade meltdown, as if it never happened, as if she never existed.

“One second we’re passing out because we’re so tired, and I’m zipping up her pajamas and she wants to zip them up, and the next second, she’s telling me how much she loves my messy hair!

In the comments below Emily’s original post about her surprising technique to save her baby from melting, thousands of parents shared their own version of the comical facial reaction.

One said: My personal motto If you can’t calm them down, confuse them. Honestly, it has worked more times than I ever thought possible!

“It was my turn”

Another added: The next morning I threw a fit. I told the three-year-old it was my turn because she had already had three seizures before 7am and it wasn’t fair for her to take all the turns.

To which a third contributed: I’m going to ask my kid off the wall questions like do you think dinosaurs fart? The further away from the wall, the better.

One younger user had a hilarious memory of her father comforting her and her siblings during a meltdown.

My dad’s trick during meltdowns or sibling fights was to watch me do it and keep doing some weird movement like clapping our hands or kicking our feet and we’d do it until we stopped.

So while Emily said it wasn’t her proudest parenting moment, it certainly seemed relatable and funny to her followers.

Back to Dr. Chesley and more shared in her comments section why this type of response to a child’s tantrum worked for them too.

I love this. It totally works for my 20 month old and is very natural for me too.

A second statement acknowledged: Reflection is very powerful!

Finally, a mom shares how this technique quelled a shopping mall frenzy: Because of her video, I did this to my four-year-old and it worked.

“She started laughing and told her brothers to come and help fix mum.