Dear Abby: I’m afraid my husband might kick me out of the house

Dear ABBY: My husband and I have been together for nine years (married for seven). I moved into his house with him, and I’m still out of the mortgage. I work full time in the medical field and contribute to all the bills. We met with a lawyer and if, God forbid, something happens to him, we have a lawsuit and I wouldn’t have to leave. However, he told me several times: “If you do this or that, you can no longer live here.”

I’m big on eggshells. My concern is that he could tell me to leave at any time and I wouldn’t have a say in it. I love him with all my heart but he makes me feel available. It makes me sad and worried. What do you think? – ATTEMPT IN MICHIGAN

DEAR TENTATIVE: Your husband should not threaten you. You live in a state in which assets are settled by an “equal footing” judge. For your own peace of mind, make an appointment with an attorney and discuss where you would be financially if your marriage didn’t work out. Then plan accordingly.

Dear ABBY: My best friend has an elderly father who won’t bathe more than twice a month. Even then, it’s usually just a five-minute shower about every three weeks. Her father changes his clothes with the same frequency. My friend has tried everything – asking nicely, nagging, begging, etc. He continues to ignore her. What, if anything, can my friend do? – LOYAL SUPPORTER IN IOWA

DEAR SUPPORTERS: Sometimes with age, their sense of smell diminishes. Was your friend’s elderly father always like this, or is this a relatively new behavior? If he is young and he has a doctor, he may need to be evaluated neurologically. If more is going on, and he can no longer take care of himself (eg, do his laundry, clean his house, etc.), someone should do it for him on a regular basis. If he refuses to allow this, suggest that she visit with him in a well-ventilated area.

Dear ABBY: My neighbor has stopped talking to me for a long time. I have contacted her, but she does not answer me. We raised our children together. Her son is getting married out of state, and my son will be in the wedding. The groom sent us a save the date card. I’d like to see him married, but I don’t want to ruin his mother’s day. Do you have any advice on how to proceed? – Surprised in COLORADO

DEAR QUESTION: I wish you could give me an idea as to why your longtime neighbor is no longer speaking to you. This is not here wedding Her son wouldn’t have sent a save the date card if he didn’t want you to be a part of this special day. If you would feel comfortable participating under these circumstances, then go. But don’t wait for the breach to heal. If not, send your condolences and a small gift to the happy couple.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.