My ‘weird’ daughter has no friends, I worry she never will

A mother recently asked for advice on how to help her daughter who was feeling anxious about starting third grade.

Mom shared, My daughter is starting third grade and she told me the other day that she was nervous to start school because she is the weird kid, she doesn’t have any friends and she doesn’t know why no one likes her.

She added, I’ve always told her to be herself and ask other kids to be her friends… but I’m socially awkward and anxious around new people, as is my husband, so they weren’t the best models to make friends. lol.

I don’t know if there is anything I can or should do but any suggestions or advice would be appreciated!!

“We can’t control the school, but we can make them feel safe at home”

Other parents related to mom’s concerns and shared their advice.

First, one user recommended exploring hobbies and after-school programs where the girl could meet like-minded friends.

Hello! Friendless mom with a lonely little boy without friends, here! I just wanted to say that my heart aches for you. Does she have any hobbies that she likes? What about club or after-school programs where she would be able to meet others she could click with, they wrote.

Also, double up on doing things with it. We can’t control school situations, but we can make them feel safe, wanted, and secure at home. You can be the best friend too 🙂 she continued.

“I was a strange child”

Others echoed this advice, saying that the more your children are involved in activities, the more friends they will make.

I would recommend finding an extracurricular activity that she is interested in. Bonus points if it’s not school related. I was one of the weird kids in school, but I found similar weird kids in gymnastics, art clubs, camps, etc., said one.

A self-confessed weirdo at school added: Find something she likes to do and she’ll find friends. I was the weird kid at school but I was in the band, played some card games, played soccer for a few years and read tons of books, through these activities I met a lot of friends. At some point shell also realizes that everyone is weird, even the cool kids.

Then a mother told the OP that this age can be a particularly difficult time for children socially, so she shouldn’t worry too much that this is a reflection of her child – or her – specifically.

I think around the second and third year they go from being a toddler where they just play with peers who are physically present and don’t think about it, to being aware that they need to connect on a deeper level.

Suddenly, you are aware that you are being watched and judged by the people around you. And things become more clicked, especially with girls. So some of this is just that transition and it’s quite common. There are many social changes that go on from year one to year six.

Finally, a member of the group told the mother to embrace her strange child, as that makes him unique.

I LOVE weird kids, they wrote. They are the kids who stand out because they don’t just go with the flow. They are generally not followers. She may not be a leader today, but later in life, she will stand out too, and with your guidance over the next five years, she can get there confidently, embracing her quirkiness.