Exclusive | Is your college-bound teenager ‘fouling the nest’? How to behave when they act like ‘rabid a-holes’

Like most mothers of high school seniors, Kerry Barto was proud but petrified at the thought of her 18-year-old son, Conor, leaving the nest for college.

However, in the months leading up to his departure last fall, the New York native mother of three noticed a change in her middle son.

Her sweet child, now 20 years old, had suddenly become strange, a little bold and easily distracted by girls and social media. But the change in Conor’s behavior was not a typical teenage problem.

He was fouling the nest, Barto, 52, a life coach from Jackson Heights who now lives in New Hampshire, told The Post.

There’s this thing that happens, where kids who go to college become more argumentative or more distant because they have all these conflicting emotions about leaving, she explained.

By doing otherwise, Barto added, they are unconsciously making it easier to leave the house and easier for us to let them go.

And, as usual, moms with money.

Flying the cage before freshman year can be just as unsettling for a teenager as it is for parents who often tearfully watch them depart.

Contamination of the slot [phenomenon] it’s a displacement of anxiety about going to college, said NYU Langone Health child and adolescent psychologist Yamalis Diaz.

This anxiety can manifest as irritability, disrespect, or fighting because they are both excited and scared to be away from home.

Well-meaning moms and dads have taken extreme measures to smooth the transition.

Some have enlisted $10,000 in rent for mothers to take care of the children’s food and laundry needs while on campus. Others have put their family homes up for sale and moved to their college town to maintain a sense of togetherness.

But instead of breaking the bank to hire help or uproot the nest to be closer to the yard, Diaz suggests parents deal with the mixed emotions rather than the rebellion their child may face before the grand exit.

Validate the feelings you think your child might be experiencing, talk about the specific bad behavior they’ve been exhibiting, she advised. Set boundaries about what behaviors are and are not acceptable.

Then, work together to come up with a plan to avoid arguments and keep the peace before he or she makes the big move.

Whitney Cicero, 54, of Los Angeles, tells The Post that the heart-to-heart with her 18-year-old son went a long way toward restoring peace before his early move to Louisiana’s Tulane University in March. Gen. Zer, whose name Cicero chose not to reveal for privacy, was rumored to play tight end on the school’s football team and left home in the spring for practice.

Those three months before he left were tough, said Cicero, an influential marketing expert turned stand-up comedian. The married mother of two, known to fans online as @TheNewStepford, recently became a full-time prankster to laugh at the pain of being an empty nester.

When teenagers start fouling the nest, it’s like they become rabid holes, she teased, noting that her sons had a cold shoulder and a newfound desire to stay out until 4:30 a.m. on it felt like I was becoming invisible and insignificant.

But after several mother-son conversations during long-distance road trips and several months of being more than 1,800 miles away from home, Cicero says her warm little boy finally melted.

There is hope, she assured the other parents with a sigh of relief. Her son now calls and texts her regularly. They were in a really good place.

Meredith Masony, 43, a married mother of three from Jacksonville, Florida, is looking forward to being on the other side of the pollution saga once her eldest son, Matias, is set to attend Florida International University in Miami this September.

“He’s definitely pushed and pulled and tested us to see what he can get away with because he thinks he’s an adult,” the parenting influencer said. Recently, the 18-year-old narrowly missed curfew to play poker with his friends at all hours of the night.

The other day he said: In a few weeks, I won’t be living here anymore, this won’t be my home, and that made me really sad, Masony admitted. And I said: No. This will always be your home. Wherever I am is home.

My children are my heart walking outside my body, she said. Once he’s out on his own and past adulthood, I hope we can be friends.